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"i just wish I could go back in time…"
"I have seen words and language used to destroy and annihilate the self-worth and the self-esteem of individuals and I have seen words used to inspire and lift people so they can see the reflection of God in the mirror of their souls.“
– Arash Zepar Dibazar
The ability to pick words and paint a picture to represent our thoughts, our perception of a certain event, everything, that goes on inside our mind. Sharing parts of our life with others is in itself magical. Nothing can compare to it… In fact, I am sure everyone of us can recall this incredible experience, that became even better once we were able to tell someone close to us about what happened. For some reason god, the universe or whatever you choose to believe in, decided to give us this gift, that adds to our happiness and lessens our agony, once we choose to use it. It can heal pain and remove scars from the past, that no medicine in the world would be able to. It is just as if we are all painting a picture with our words. Well, I guess to some degree all of us can be called artists.
However, on this journey called life we also get to see the other side of the coin. Nothing is just one sided. Just like there is night and day, summer and winter, life and death, sharing beautiful experiences has also it's opposite and I am sure all of you got to realize this at some point. It comes in all kind of forms, be they break ups, lost opportunities, or the passing of a loved one. Although it's painful, we learn to come to terms with these conditions and accept them as part of reality.
Just like these incidents are part of life, so are our mistakes and actions, that once made, can never be undone. Try to go back in your mind and remember the last time you couldn't sleep at night, because of someone else. Remember the last time you got so angry and took an action, that filled you with regret afterward. And what happened the last time you interpreted something wrong and ended a relationship based on this? I am sure many of us have made decisions and took actions, that we are not proud of. Rather we hope deep inside to go back in time and change the facts, change what happened, change the past…
However thinking about how things might have been, how much better we could feel about ourselves and how much pain we could have saved our loved ones, does nothing at all. It's just like putting salt on our wound, adding to the pain and holding on to things, that are no longer within our reach. This condition wouldn't be a problem, would it only be limited to one or two individuals. But the reality is: All of us have this in common. And just like everyone else, I am asking myself: Is there any solution for this out there?
Let me tell you a secret… Well, it's actually quite known, however I consider it a secret because you can know something, but if you can't apply it, you don't really have access to it, it's still hidden. So, what if I told you, that what you consider to be your problem, is not really your problem? And no, this is not a random mind exercise, you actually have to pay attention and implement it to see the benefit.
You think it was the break up, that brought you distress, you think it was your employer, who upset you and while we're at it, let's blame every other person that has done you wrong in the past. They seem to have no understanding and compassion when it comes to other people. Well, this might be true or not, I'm not here to judge, but let's get back to you and ponder over the following question: How long do you want to live with this attitude?
How long will you keep walking around and hoping, everything will work in your favor? Because this is what's happening right now. Blaming people for using certain words, makes as much sense as blaming gravity for hurting you, after falling on the ground. It's nothing you have control over, as much as you'd like it to be this way. See, you can never be so worried about your feelings, when it comes to other people’s words.
In fact, one of the things you have to free yourself from is, the importance you put on other people’s words. Like, other people’s words can make or break people. You could start a whole war, by saying the wrong thing or by the other person interpreting it in the wrong way.
Be free of any words, they can throw at you
Now I want you to listen to that for a moment. Pay attention and see how this thing looks like from a new perspective.
The next moment people can say anything they want to you, you can’t control that. They can type anything they want, you can’t control that. Tonight you might be out and people can say whatever they want, you can’t control that. But you have to keep telling yourself 1 thing over and over again:
That you have worked and you work and you will keep working on releasing any idea you have, that words hurt. They signify somebody else’s idea and somebody else’s idea, doesn’t hurt at all. Why? Because you have to hold your own ideas sacred and senior to theirs!
Get to the point where you can face the world and the world of words can no longer touch you. You must claim this position in your mind, you must stand there and face the world and say:
"The symbols you throw at me, that must be interpreted by my mind, must be interpreted in a way, that won’t damage me internally."
Because the symbol does not equal the thing. The symbol for water cannot quench your thirst. If you’re very thirsty and you keep saying: water, water. That’s a symbol for water, but you need real water.
If you get this level of understanding, that I’m trying to get across, if you can understand this idea, that I’m expressing, than you stand in an interesting place. This is a place where you stand and sit and you say:
"You can punch me, shoot me or attack me in any physical way, but outside of that, you literally can’t touch me at all, because the symbols you’re throwing at me, can’t touch me. They’re only words and words can’t touch me anymore. Why? Because they’re symbols of your head, they’re symbols of your idea. You’re telling me about your ideas, your world:
'You’re evil…' in your world. You are 100% correct, because you’re acting like that. I am however not evil in my world or his world, or their world. In fact, I can give you a thousand people. For some reason you have selected yourself out as the most important in my life and you have chosen to go into war, not only against me, but against every other person I know, because you’re telling them your opinion is senior to theirs."
a problem vs a condition
The question I have is why is this topic so important? Let’s say your boat drifts and your ships gets off course, so what? So be it, it happens to you, it happens to my enemy, to my ally. If we take any human condition and ask: "What do I do about it?" I’d say: "I don’t know, I have the same stupid human condition." But what started to happen is the human condition is no longer becoming so relevant like it used to be.
Someone says to me: "Sometimes I get a stomach ache and I can’t go to the bathroom, what do I do about it?" I say: "I have no fucking idea. I had the same problem. I bet the president does so too." But someone says: "I’m about to approach a girl and I think to myself: 'Well, she might reject me. When that happens to you, what do you do?'"
Than I have a million answers, because that seems a little bit different. Yes, it’s a human condition, and I still get that nervousness you do, but I think about it differently. So I have the same condition you do, but my state of mind afterward is: "Fuck, I don’t care"
So it might be problem that your girlfriend might leave you for another man, but it no longer is a problem. It’s a condition that comes with being with a woman. A woman flaking was a problem, but it’s not a problem anymore, it’s just a condition that comes with being with women. It might suck, but that's life.
Now perhaps the above makes a lot of sense to you when reading it and it might definitely help you to handle life more and focus on the important things, but how do you plan to implement this in your life?
See, it's not about you understanding it while reading these lines, it's about implementing it when the challenge shows up in your life!
Dragon heart, ignite the fire within
In his brand new release, Arash Zepar Dibazar is sharing his latest discoveries when it comes to protecting yourself against people's attacks and criticism on you. We all know how distracting and hurting it can be when people choose to hurt us with their words, so stop giving them so much power over you. Arm yourself with the right techniques to pull out when they're needed and start to develop a mindset, that holds your own opinion of yourself as the highest and does no longer give any relevance to people who don't deserve it.
Lecture 1: set yourself free from their opinion:
- How do you feel about the subject you want to improve in? Not how you should feel, but how do you really feel?
- Learn how to stop making other people's opinions about you senior to your own opinion.
- Learn Arash's process to finding your weaknesses, before the world shows them to you and how to find the cure for them instantly
- Start to see yourself for who you are and not the identity, that society imposed on you
Lecture 2: is it really a problem?
- How can you differentiate between a problem and a condition in life?
- You are not supposed to accept the conditions start to adjust them to your life.
- People stop because of problems they face. what does it take to keep going when the world is putting you down?
- What things should you make important in your life and what unimportant things are being made important?
Lecture 3: the world reflects what you put out
- It takes power to protect your environment. What should you use when you don't have enough power?
- How should you use the feedback given by the world, whenever you're making a decision? What should you ignore?
- The one who is comfortable, holds the power. How do you hold comfort when things aren't going well around you?
- How can you utilize persuasion to get ahead in life?
Lecture 4: What is that thing they seek?
- What should be your response when people try to impose their ideas on you?
- How should you keep going, when you don't have the money, status and fame right now?
- Why will some people you're interested in, not be interested in you and how do you respond to that?
- You're just getting started in a new field. Which approach will bring you the best solutions?
Lecture 5: how can you become a leader?
- Ask yourself: Why should people follow you? Are you creating the vibration of leadership?
- Are you presenting yourself in a way, that is interpreted as qualified to lead?
- One of the most important abilities to have when you lead, each of us is a leader in his own life, is the ability to take risks and win.
- Being a leader does not happen by applying one or two techniques, this happens through a lifelong journey of taking the principles every leader should have and making them part of your being. What should you look out for?
What is holding you back?
Life is too short and too precious to sit and regret what we should have done. Life is too short too precious to sit and worry about the past. Life is too short and too precious to worry about things that haven't happened yet. Life is too short and too precious to waste on people who do not appreciate you. Take a moment right now and realize the truth of this statement.
Right now, wherever you may be, you are trying to wish and hope and pray that your pain, misery and anxiety goes away. The problem is that it is not going to go away because you are the one creating it. You see you are creating your pain, misery and anxiety. You have become so good at doing this, that it is now being done automatically and you forget that you are the one creating it. Your mind is capable of the most amazing feelings and sensations and thoughts. The problem is that your mind has now started running out of control. You must regain your ability to control it and then your reality will completely change…
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